The Woes of Competing as an Amateur

I am sure you have read countless articles, personal stories, opinion pieces, and social media posts citing how different it is to be competing in the equestrian world as an amateur. Not only are you now fully financially responsible for this absurdly expensive sport, but you also have to juggle a full time job and other "adulting" life activities with horses. Whether they live at home with you or if you board, it can feel like there is much less time to spend at the barn compared to those long summer days, or afternoons after school. Additionally, having to take off work to be able to show at bigger shows is a luxury, especially in place of vacations or family holidays. All in all, it requires dedication and a bit of sacrifice to compete as an amateur in this sport. But one thing that I feel is rarely touched on, one of the biggest differences between competing as a junior an as an amateur, is camaraderie.

It is easy to make friends as a junior rider. From ponies on to the upper level junior hunters, jumpers, and big eq, chances are there are a bunch of kids the same age at the barn, maybe even taking part in group lessons or IEA teams for extra experience. Even if you board at home, as a kid you know who you'll be seeing at the circuit and easily find common ground in your passion for horses. As a pony kid, summer camps and group lessons push you close together with barn mates. Especially nowadays with social media, kids always know who they'll be competing against and when they will be back in touch with their friends at the next show. You'll know who will be around for winter circuit, and who is a part of the local show circuits. You recognize names, you cheer each other on, you get close.

As an adult, where do you even begin? If you do board, you probably still work and have limited hours to get to the barn. And if you don't work during the day, then you probably ride during the day a good portion of the year and not after work like many others. Even if you run into a fellow ammy boarder here or there, chances are you aren't on a team together, you don't take group lessons together, and with how difficult it is to plan shows, you may not even end up at the same shows together. You find yourself riding alone most often, with private lessons and hack outs.

If you have your horses at home like me, maybe you get lucky with a neighbor that also rides, albeit not the same discipline, but a trail ride or a hack at each other's properties here and there. Even still, adulting gets in the way. For me, in the winter I do my best to ride on my lunch break from work and squeeze time in on the weekends as often as possible. Come summer I am up before the sun to get a ride in before clocking in for the workday. I sprinkle lessons in whenever my schedule allows, and I go to a show once in a blue moon when I summon the energy to plan for it financially, with PTO, and with (or sometimes without) my trainer. Having not been a part of the show circuit for over a decade, I am unfamiliar with most names these days. I know a few friends from back in the day that still compete, but that is usually from my home state of Virginia. Here in Florida I know a few people that come back and forth for season, but my goodness how am I to plan my schedule around theirs, on top of around my own?!

I'd love to make some new amateur friends but it is hard to know where I fit in. I may fit the classic timid amateur stereotype, but I don't have the money and time that a lot of the amateurs I see have, or the desire to ride completely for fun and not be competitive. I want to compete and have a group to motivate and share moments at competitions with. I want to cheer on friends and feel supported. A sense of belonging in the horse community, for me and my green OTTB. I want to be lined up in a equitation flat class with two barn mates, extra excited when we all come out with a primary color. I want to hear "How did it go?" and share amateur photography and videography with teammates. I want to get a pat on the back or a hug on the hard days when things don't go as planned, and I want to do that for others. I want to finish schooling and go get lunch with the barn, chatting and excitedly reviewing our goals for the season. I want a community and I have no idea where to find it.

I have seriously considered boarding Ghost somewhere with other adult amateurs so that I can find this community. It feels isolating to be at home all the time. But, first and foremost, I can't afford that. I also know I would have even less time to ride if my horses weren't at home. I am not the most social person to begin with, and I do cherish being alone at the barn quite frequently. It would be so nice to have those friendships though - even if they are just at the horse show.

If you're an adult amateur, where do you fit in? Do you have close ammy friends?